We’ve already seen how emotions gone out of control are one of the primary causes of arguments spiraling into fights. Heated emotions can also stand in the way of objectivity – maintaining a philosophical neutrality that helps you weigh each side fairly and come to the best conclusion – and destroy your ability to keep everything you’ve learned here in mind.
Always aim to keep a stable emotional state and don’t let anything said ruffle your feathers. Always keep your ideas and your identity separate – and do the same for your opponent too. Points counter to your own are not a personal attack, and do not attack your opponent’s character or intelligence for holding the beliefs they do. Do not take criticism negatively either, whether it is the central subject of the argument or over the way you are prosecuting the argument. Any criticism you receive will either be true, in which case you should strive to change, or it will be false, in which case it is not worth getting overly bothered about.
Take care not to bait your opponent’s emotions in turn. It may be tempting to want to claim victory by tipping your opponent out of balance, but it would be a hollow victory – the issue would still not really be settled. Also remember the human – causing emotional distress goes counter to this.
Sometimes, though, the source of the argument is emotional at its core. Recognize this fact when necessary, and acknowledge it with your opponent. As long as you keep each other’s emotions in mind, things will not degenerate into a fight.
