All human beings alive are unique, and a part of that is that we all have a unique point of view: not a single human being will have another person with whom they share 100% of their beliefs, experiences and convictions – not even their soulmate, if that mythical paragon of romance dramas and rom-coms even exists.
Most of the time, regular communication is enough to facilitate exchange of ideas and help others understand what is going on in our heads, why we do things a certain way or what course of action we need to take, but it’s inevitable that from time to time we will come across situations where our ideas and those of others are completely incompatible with each other.
These situations crop up everywhere – from our personal relationships to professional interactions at the workplace and in random interactions with strangers. Sometimes, the differences are minor and not big enough a deal to raise a row over – one party backs down and acquiesces to the other, or an easy compromise is agreed upon. A lot of the time, though, such a quick solution is impossible to come to. The only way to resolve the situation is through argument – both sides making points that advance their side with the hope of convincing the other that they are right.
There can be quite a lot of reasons for regular compromise and simply doing things one person’s way without too much of an issue to become impossible. An ideological gap is the most common one – the two parties are heavily invested and convinced of their own point of view. This is a direct result of every person’s uniqueness and individuality and really can’t be avoided. While in many cases things are not usually clear-cut, there is also the possibility that one point of view may be genuinely, objectively wrong, which really does not stop the party that believes it from thinking it is right.
It’s because of this that arguing and debate are necessary, and are in fact vital skills to learn for the smooth running of society.
So, whether arguing is healthy or not depends entirely on the motives you have when entering into it. If you and your opponent are hell-bent on winning and nothing else, then of course neither of you are going to listen to what the other has to say. You really won’t care much for constructing your argument in a logical manner that actually has a chance of getting through to your opponent.
It’s up to you to take it upon yourself to enter every interaction with objectivity and reason on your side. Being calm and measured and not answering a raised voice, accusations and vitriol in kind will tend to rub off on your opponent. If they don’t, then you should be able to recognize that the argument is not going to result in a positive conclusion anyway, so it’s sometimes better to just back away in a way that lets your opponent know that you are not conceding to their point.
