Going through the thought-exercise of imagining what your critics would say allows you to generate counter-points to these refutations before they even occur. Tackling a refutation head-on with an solid point doesn’t just defend your initial argument, it also makes it appear stronger. It displays that you’ve considered your main points well and that you yourself are rational and logical in how you consider problems.
Better yet, if you can support your counter-point with evidence and facts that you have researched, then you can slam-dunk an unprepared opposition. Most of the time, when people argue, they are woefully unprepared to support their opinion. They can’t even clearly establish their argument, let alone support it. If you can enter an argument knowing precisely what your points are and you have evidence to support these points, responses ready to any objections and evidence to support those responses, then you should wipe the floor with any unprepared debater – at least if they are being fair and rational themselves, that is.
With evidence and preparation you have a very powerful framework to support your argument. However, you can also learn to defend your position by appreciating some stylistic tips on how to actually effectively debate and argue in order to convince. Firstly, whilst it’s good to have evidence and facts to support your arguments, don’t rely too much on them either. An over-reliance on evidence can detract and confuse from your main point and in more informal settings you probably won’t have the time to room in the argument to display all your facts. Think of facts and evidence that spice and seasoning on a meal; they accompany and enhance your argument, but they are not the argument itself and they can be overpowering if done wrong.
Learn how to be flexible with the presentation of your argument. You can never consider every counterpoint or anticipate how a debate or argument will progress. Often people will surprise you by raising a point you didn’t expect or turning an argument on its head.
Therefore there will be times when you need to adjust your argument to the situation at hand. Of course the core underlying essence of your argument shouldn’t change, but if you can link it to the facts and points being raised then you can show that you are listening to the other people involved, but also that your argument itself is consistent and powerful.
You should also be comfortable at standing your ground. You might on occasion find yourself in an argument with another person who is well prepared and effective at arguing themselves. If you wish to convince the other person of your point, then you must not concede territory too easily. Don’t be stubborn or difficult – you can still recognize a point well-made if they make a brilliant counter-point. However instead of simply agreeing with the point made once again you need to apply your argument from a different angle or perspective.
Often people compromise their view when they face tough competition. Compromise isn’t inherently bad and can work wonders in interpersonal relationships depending on the circumstance. Nonetheless, in terms of an argument where you are trying to actually convince another person of your opinion, or a group of people, compromising to a neutral territory can signal a lack of dedication to your opinion. If you compromise too much you can give the impression of being, for lack of a better phrase, rather lukewarm and lacking in confidence or charisma. Sometimes conceding a point is just necessary, but in your debate-style arguments, learn to push back and discover where the boundaries actually lie.
Similarly, don’t be afraid to be bold or contentious. If you truly believe in a certain opinion and you have rationally considered your argument and carefully prepared support for it, then be comfortable with taking a stance or opinion that others might not expect or strongly disagree with. Naturally, apply this tip with tact; your might truly believe that you are more competent than your boss for example, but your boldness probably wouldn’t do you any favors if you tried to express this idea at work.
Ensure that you let the other person talk. It can be tempting to interrupt and cut the other person out, but you’ll never win them over if you do this – as outlined in the previous chapter. In group settings you might be able to stifle someone from expressing themselves by butting in and overpowering their points, but you might also cause the debate to devolve into a shouting match. Even if it doesn’t, astute observers will recognize what you are doing and will probably perceive you as quite obnoxious.
Also, speak slowly. When we are engaged in a debate we have a tendency to increase the speed at which we speak but also the volume and even the pitch. However, a slow, controlled delivery of an argument or a point is much more commanding. You’ll notice that professional orators, from presidents to CEO’s will speak considerably slower than normal, being comfortable with small pauses during their speech and deliberate emphasis on the intonation of words. Speaking slower also gives you more time to consider and articulate your point rather than just rushing in and stumbling. We will talk more about the speaking slowly in the chapter on the social psychology of argumentation.
Never, ever, lie. It can be tempting to pull a fact or figure out of thin air or to try and make a point that you just know isn’t true in order to work towards your main points or conclusions. Don’t do it! You might be able to get away with a slight mistruth, but if you get caught and revealed, the legitimacy of your entire argument and position is undermined.
People will no longer trust you or any of the points you have made and you can permanently damage your reputation and ability to defend a position in the future. It’s better to just concede and keep your dignity intact and try another day if you find yourself struggling to be convincing.
Furthermore, few people are convincing when they try to lie. It takes a lot of practice or a special type of personality to lie and be completely calm and stoic during the delivery of a lie. Most of us will give away certain cues that we are lying– our bodies and facial muscles will tense, or we will change the tone and intonation our speech or significantly alter our body language. In truth, most people are not observant enough to notice these small changes, but sharp observers or people who know you well will be able to recognize these small signals and tell that something is off.
Be patient. Convincing other people is a funny process and it can take a considerable amount of time. You might need to raise a point numerous times on different days. Consistently dedicating yourself to proving and convincing people of your point demonstrates resolve and can cause people to become more open-minded towards your idea through sheer persistence.
Even if you only have a single debate or argument to establish your point, you still need to be patient. The human mind turns slowly and is reluctant to change its opinion. You need to accept that if you will probably gain ground slowly and it is only through being consistent and deliberate that you will change people’s minds.
